Atychiphobia

atychiphobia

Many of us are afraid of failing, at least some of the time. But fear of failure (also called "atychiphobia") is when we allow that fear to stop us doing the things that can move us forward to achieve our goals.

I don't even know how to pronounce this word, but I do know what it feels like in real life.  I have had it destroy a good thing in my life on more than one occasion.  Sometimes it has taken something that I used to enjoy and love and turned that thing into a nightmare, keeping me awake at night and stressed out during the day.  It has made me push myself past the point of exhaustion and into an overdrive that landed me squarely in the hospital.  In my case, my fear of failure was not only the fear of disappointing myself, but of disappointing someone else near and dear to me.  

It has taken me a long time, almost 50 years to be exact, to come to a place where I can recognize this cycle starting to spin out of control and let go before I am forced to drop everything just to recover.  Somewhere in my life I decided that what other people thought about my life was more important than what I thought or what God thought.  I disguised that viewpoint in the ruse of having a servant's heart and making other people smile, but in the process, I was miserable and those people were never satisfied.

God created me with a special purpose in mind.  There is no one else who can fill that purpose but me and I can't do that when I'm busy filling everyone else's purpose for them.  The only way I can truly fail is when I lose sight of why I was created.  So today, I take this moment to breathe, to smile, to rest, and to reflect on what is important for me, for today.  It is not my job to do this for everyone else.  It is not selfish.  It is a much needed rest...It is a pause that helps me focus and prioritize.  It is a pause to let me breathe...