The dreaded "T" in April

Yep it's here...the deadline we all hate and love to complain about...Tax time.  While I am quick to jump on board and complain about a) having to do all the crazy paperwork, b) paying the government, and c) using up time to do so that I will never get back, the thought occurred to me today...

it is amazing that we had the money to pay for all these things that we needed to run our businesses...

it is amazing to watch how God provided time and time again...

it is amazing to see how our businesses have truly grown over the last year...

it is amazing that I was able to make a profit working for myself and doing something I love...

You will probably hear me complain about taxes, this year and every year, but you'll also hear me talk about the flip side and how tax season is also a time for thanksgiving for all we have been blessed with the previous year.  I don't know yet if we will owe or get a refund, but I do know I am grateful for this life I have been given and the means I have been given to earn a living.  

thankful...

grateful...

blessed...

Atychiphobia

atychiphobia

Many of us are afraid of failing, at least some of the time. But fear of failure (also called "atychiphobia") is when we allow that fear to stop us doing the things that can move us forward to achieve our goals.

I don't even know how to pronounce this word, but I do know what it feels like in real life.  I have had it destroy a good thing in my life on more than one occasion.  Sometimes it has taken something that I used to enjoy and love and turned that thing into a nightmare, keeping me awake at night and stressed out during the day.  It has made me push myself past the point of exhaustion and into an overdrive that landed me squarely in the hospital.  In my case, my fear of failure was not only the fear of disappointing myself, but of disappointing someone else near and dear to me.  

It has taken me a long time, almost 50 years to be exact, to come to a place where I can recognize this cycle starting to spin out of control and let go before I am forced to drop everything just to recover.  Somewhere in my life I decided that what other people thought about my life was more important than what I thought or what God thought.  I disguised that viewpoint in the ruse of having a servant's heart and making other people smile, but in the process, I was miserable and those people were never satisfied.

God created me with a special purpose in mind.  There is no one else who can fill that purpose but me and I can't do that when I'm busy filling everyone else's purpose for them.  The only way I can truly fail is when I lose sight of why I was created.  So today, I take this moment to breathe, to smile, to rest, and to reflect on what is important for me, for today.  It is not my job to do this for everyone else.  It is not selfish.  It is a much needed rest...It is a pause that helps me focus and prioritize.  It is a pause to let me breathe...

Mmmmmm!

So it's Good Friday and, not intending to be disrespectful, I'm going to rave about a hamburger on my blog.  I took my teenage son for lunch and a couple rounds of golf (don't be impressed...it was mini golf soooo, we had a great time and neither of us will be sore tomorrow).  After running through the list of restaurant options in town, which took quite some time as there are way too many to choose from in a single square mile, we settled on the new burger establishment...Burgerim.

Burgerim is located in a high traffic shopping area and isn't anything special to look at from the outside or the inside.  To be honest, I was a little disappointed in the lack of character/ambiance when we walked in the door.  The menu was not terribly long and was posted above the cashier.  But when I took a closer look at the menu, it was kind of cool.  It's basically a build your own burger place...choose your bun, meat (or vegie burger if you like), toppings, condiments, how many burgers you want.  A combo meal includes your choice of sides, one of which is fresh fries/chips cut in round discs instead of straight French fries or curly fries...

 

The burgers are not huge...I had only one in my combo meal and it was plenty for me for lunch, but I could see where someone could easily eat 2 or maybe 3 if he was really hungry.  The uno combo meal was $6.99.  They also have family packs and party packs (picture 16 burgers arranged in a donut-style bakery box).

BUT, enough of the boring stuff!  The burger I had was their "classic" but it had a wonderful smoky taste.  I literally thought it tasted like a homemade one fresh off the grill.  I didn't request a specific way to have it cooked, so mine was cooked through, no pink.  You may be able to ask for your desired doneness.  But here's the fun part...if you like a "gourmet" burger, some of their options are aged beef (28 days), a mexican inspired patty, chicken breast, falafel, a top grade beef patty (the top of the line beef found in the US), 5 different sauces, and add ons such as a fried egg.  Impressive!

So, if I were to rate this restaurant, for a fast food place, I would give it 4.5 out of a 5 star scale.  They definitely won brownie points with me when I saw that they offer a sizeable discount for on-duty police officers, firefighters, and paramedics.  Two thumbs up and I will eat here again!!!

Rain

The sound of rain on the roof all night long means really good sleep for me.  It is a soothing sound and helps quiet my mind so it can rest.  When the sun comes up, however, I want it to go away.  I want the bright cheerfulness of the sun to encourage me and the flowers and the trees.

We need both rain and sunshine and, depending on the timing, both are considered healing, nourishing, and good for the soul.  How easy we forget this and grumble...the sun is too hot, blinding, irritating or the rain is too cold, dreary, and depressing.  

It's a habit to see everything around us as "too this" or "too that."  I'm working on breaking that habit.  Contentment comes when we can look at the up side and turn our back on the negatives.  I am adding a little 3 letter word to turn those negative thoughts into positive ones..."but"

"We've already gotten 3 inches of rain and it's still raining, BUT the trees are budding and the robins are building a nest on my porch."

"I got a flat tire on the way to work, BUT I didn't get in an accident and I am alive."

"I was hurt deeply by someone close to me, BUT I learned that I have a voice and I CAN set boundaries and it's OK to say "I'm not OK with xyz."

Once I get in the solid habit of turning thoughts around, it's easier for my mind to go directly to the positive thought and bypass the negative.  Some days are easier than others and I am definitely still a work in progress when it comes to being consistent with it.  

Sometimes writing it down can help, too.  I am not good at keeping a journal...I have one, it's just rarely used.  It's time consuming to write out my thoughts on paper so I don't always enjoy doing it, BUT I have my phone with me all the time and it has this wonderful thing called "notes."  I started a note that is just a list of positive things.  Every time I think of one or turn a thought from negative to positive, I jot down one word to remind me of that good thing.  It makes me happy in that moment, but also gives me a nice list of blessings to peek at when I am having a tough day.  For the really good ones, I either write about them here or actually put them in my journal.

Rain and sunshine...neither one is 100% good nor 100% bad...they are a beautiful mix of both.

ARACHNOPHOBIA?!!!

"Arachnophobia is the irrational fear of spiders and other arachnids such as scorpions."

OK, so the psych definition calls it irrational, but I ask you...Who in their right mind would want to curl up and take a nap with one of these guys?!!  My skin is crawling just thinking about it!  And for those of you who like to say, "they're more scared of you than you are of them," please explain why one crawled across my face in the middle of the night?!!  And why do they like to drop down out of trees and the rafters of my garage right on top of people?  

Too many legs and weird eyes and they bite...I rest my case!  

(Oh, and if you think you're being funny by tormenting me with toys or the real deal?  You are no friend of mine...seriously...not even kidding!  I'll still love you but I won't be able to hang out with you...boundaries!!!)

X in the Middle

anx·i·e·ty

aNGˈzīədē/

noun

1. a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.
2. 
   

   "he felt a surge of anxiety"

   synonyms:

   worry, concern, apprehension, apprehensiveness, uneasiness, unease, fearfulness, fear, disquiet, disquietude, inquietude, perturbation, agitation, angst, misgiving, nervousness, nerves, tension, tenseness; More

   • desire to do something, typically accompanied by unease.

     
     

     "the housekeeper's eager anxiety to please"

     synonyms:

     eagerness, keenness, desire "an anxiety to please"

   • PSYCHIATRY

     a nervous disorder characterized by a state of excessive uneasiness and apprehension, typically with compulsive behavior or panic attacks.
   • 
     
   • Well now, this is a word that is thrown around like Iphones in a local high school.  Everybody has it and it's no big deal...unless you really DO have it.
   • 
     
   • This funky word with an x in the middle can be completely debilitating.  Think about the worst stress you have ever been under in your entire life.  Think about how your body physically felt.  Now extend that feeling over days, weeks, months at a time.  Your body is on high alert, overdosing on adrenaline, and ready to defend itself against the most serious of threats to it's well-being.  Now combine this with almost no sleep due to your high alert status and your brain being in overdrive with worry.  (Two of the worst things you can do, long term, to your body are stress and sleep deprivation.)  Now add to this everyone you know telling you not to worry about it or it's no big deal or just relax.  Now add people you thought were your friends, tearing you down publicly and add a highly demanding job.  Now add physical ailments/illness that pop up because your body can't take the long term physical toll.  Now add well meaning people telling you it's all in your head...being physically ill is all in your head.  And of course, add the people who tell you to just get over it.
   • 
     

   I am here to tell you...it's definitely not that simple.  What starts out as a little bit of stress turns into a mountain of a problem as more and more and more things are dumped onto an already strained system.  If our car were under this much stress, every single light on the dash would be flashing, the engine would sound like it was about to self destruct, and there would probably be smoke billowing out the back.  We're all smart enough to turn off the engine, give it a rest, call for a ride, and tow that car to the mechanic.  And we sure wouldn't continue to drive it until it was mended....why?  because we don't want to permanently damage the engine!  So why do we do this to ourselves or watch others do it to themselves and not think twice about it?  Some people even seem to enjoy watching others somehow self destruct in a breakdown of one sort or another.

Be sensitive, be kind, remind yourself that you may not know everything a person is dealing with under the surface.  Maybe they are doing the very best they can with the world around them.  Maybe there is no one else that has taken a moment to care.  Maybe you could be the one person who says "hey, you need to take care of you...I see you giving this life everything you've got, but even heroes need to breathe and rest and heal..."

Out the Door in Record Time

My hair is long...and thick...and wavy.  In the summer time I look like a poodle (humidity is not my friend) and in the winter I look like a scarecrow (heaters and the hair dryer...ugh).  I love how my hair looks down on my good hair days, but on my bad hair days I spend 30 min. to an hour trying to tame an unmanageable mane...trying everything from sprays to mousses to gels to a variety of styling tools.  At least, I used to do all that...

Four years ago. I found a gadget that literally has saved me hours and hours of time.  Today, on a bad hair day, I spend 30 seconds (max) on an updo and I head out the door feeling like a million bucks.  The flexi clip has changed my life...and I don't say that flippantly.

I discovered these clips at an online Facebook party hosted by a friend of mine.  I bought a couple to "try", thinking I would surely have to supplement one flexi clip with a million bobby pins and another can of hairspray to get my hair to stay put for any length of time.  But my mind was blown when I put one in my hair and felt how secure it was.  I was hooked on Day 1.

I bought several more a few weeks later and hosted my own party in order to round out my collection to one of every size.  There is no hairstyle that eludes me now and I am in love with this product.  I no longer use gel or hairspray or bobby pins at all...ever, and I only use mousse on days when I leave my hair down and want to encourage my waves.  This was this morning’s selfie with an XL flexi... not a very good photo, but you get the idea...

There are a ton of different colors and styles to choose from and they all come in 7 sizes so there is something for everyone.  No matter how much/little hair you have and no matter what the texture, they will stay put all day!  
Want to know more?  click here