Ebb and Flow

Friendships are interesting creatures.  Some are fiercely strong, some merely acquaintances and small talk.  Some you have to work hard to maintain and others just exist with no effort at all.  Some are healthy and some are not.  They are something that cannot be contrived or forced or willed into existence.  And they all evolve over time.

The good friendships, the really good ones, are the ones in which you can be 100% real...honest about your day to day life, honest about your feelings, honest about your needs, honest about your dreams, honest about your fears.  They are the ones you can let your hair down in and just be...no pretenses, no manipulations, no performances, just truth laid bare and acceptance of you right where you’re at.  

I have spent years of my life trying to please everyone and juggling too many people to be a good friend to any.  I have tried to maintain friendships that were unhealthy, inappropriate, or just plain incompatible in the name of “showing everyone the love of Christ” and wanting to be “a good friend.”  In the end, I was so focused on pleasing everyone else, I neglected myself, my extended family, my closest friends, and time with the Lord.

God opened my eyes and made me realize...He never intended for every life we touch to be a permanent addition to our life.  Each person that crosses our path does so for us to learn something.  They are not all meant to unpack and stay indefinitely and it is not our responsibility to be their friend for life.  It’s ok if people move on and it’s ok to let go and it’s ok for me to move on without them.  

Facebook and our entire society have made us believe that more and more and more friends are what will fulfill you and make you successful.  But God places very specific people in our lives that are meant to stay...be selective in who you invest your time and heart in.  Not all who wander into your life are intended to stay.  If you listen carefully, you will know exactly who they are.

PS I am seriously still working on this!